• Darren Kanthal

The Judge is Strong

The Judge is strong and loud; a harsh voice with demeaning undertones, causing it to come out of nowhere. This can be said about your Judge and my Judge. You see, when I was growing up, I felt like nothing was good enough and as time went on, those thoughts manifested into, “I am not good enough”. Looking back, knowing what I know now, those thoughts are nonsense. But, what can I say? That’s what my Judge had swindled me into believing all of these years. With this knowledge, I want to help you silence your Judge and bring focus to your Sage.

As part of my Positive Intelligence practice and building mental fitness, I’ve learned a lot about what the Judge says and I’ve also learned how to listen to my Sage. The Sage is my higher being; my better self. The wise Yoda that lives within my brain and it’s the voice that comes from a place of love, compassion, empathy, and all things positive in life.

Mental Fitness

Mental fitness is the ability to handle life’s challenges with a positive mindset rather than a negative mindset. In principle, it sounds easy, but it takes a conscious effort. A great example of this is an introspective one. I’m more mentally fit today than I was six months ago yet as I am writing this, my Judge has completely taken over. I love writing but this is also the time when I feel the most vulnerable and critical of my skills as a writer. I am entering that angry, inconsiderate, and judgemental part of my brain that I strive to keep at bay.

How many of you have a voice inside your head that not only judges you, but judges others, and even judge’s circumstances and events surrounding you? Here’s an up-close and personal account of my Judge talking:

If I were taller, stronger, better looking, and richer then you wouldn’t have all these problems.

If only my partner, step-kids, friends, boss, and co-workers would stop/start doing this, that, or the other then we wouldn’t have all these problems.

If it weren’t for Covid-19, hot/freezing temps, and there always being bad traffic, then life wouldn’t be filled with these problems.

Does my Judge sound familiar or at least similar to yours? If so, your Judge is strong and it is time for your Sage to stand up for you.

Knowing all that comes with mental fitness, one of the greatest things I have learned is that the challenges in life always have something positive to take from them; a gift. To learn that, there is a choice that has to be made. We can choose to accept the challenges and move on. Or, we can convert them into something positive, which is where our Sage comes in.

Gifts and What to do With Them

Seeing challenges as gifts is not always obvious. Nor does it seem like the right time for there to even be a gift amidst the chaos. Thinking back to when my father died, I could not see a gift in the slightest. I was in deep mourning; being sad was just a scratch on the tip of the iceberg. How could there possibly be a gift in death? But, when enough time had passed I started to recognize gifts that I did not consider originally because my sole focus was on losing my father. The gifts were: the relationship with my mother improved immensely, I took over my father’s business and was lucky enough to be employed right out of college, not to mention I became a CEO, and I quickly became a man.

Those are the gifts that came from one of my life’s greatest challenges and what I do with them is: appreciate my life, my family's life, my career and help those that have lost battles with their Judge as I have. I want to help you listen to your Sage and find your gifts in life. Though I have struggled and my Judge has continually pushed me down, I know I will continue to overcome it because my mental fitness is better than it used to be and my Sage will win the battle over my Judge.

Let’s find your gifts and work on what to do with them. We can win this battle together at The Kanthal Group.


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